3 Ways to Happiness
In our search for happiness, many of us turn to thoughts of more money as the answer. These thoughts become the only solution for many of us, creating a fixed mindset; earning more money, fantasies of winning the lottery, becoming famous or an unexpected inheritance.
Why is it that we equate money with happiness?
Is it down to the image of ‘success’ that media and advertising portrays; the image that our society promotes?
Maybe it’s the advice of our parents and educational institutions that certain careers, such as medicine and law, bring the financial rewards to bring us happiness?
Money alone can’t buy happiness, but we still equate money with a ‘better’ life. Happiness is not a commodity that can be bought.
Are we simply confusing happiness and security?
Happiness related to having more money is not what I have witnessed in my particular profession.
As a naturally friendly school Principal, every morning I love meeting and greeting the pupils and parents to welcome them into school; after all, we all want a positive start to the day. However, I’ve noticed a distinct difference in those families from the wealthy London school I led for a number of years to the parents in a much more deprived area of London.
The extremely wealthy parents who were CEO’s, or inheritors of a fortune, had leadership positions in legal, medical and media professions or were famous movie and tv celebrities, were more self-consciousness and careful about who they chose to mix with at the school gate and came across as cautious. Don’t get me wrong some were cheerful and engaged in personable conversation and were caring, polite and thoughtful; however, many were abrupt, pre-occupied, rude, stressed or indifferent to being greeted and often came in a rush, pushing their children into school. This does not equate with the happiness that comes with ‘success’, but more the ‘unhappiness’ that comes with maintaining your social standing, wealth, and paranoia of the motives of those around you that fame and money attracts.
When I cast my mind back to one of the poorer schools I had worked in, I have many more pleasant memories of the experience. The majority of parents and children came in smiling, socialising freely and appeared much more relaxed, despite their day-to-day financial challenges. They would bake and cook things to share with the pupils and teachers, and bring in thoughtful gifts at holiday times. They were present at all the school events, and just appeared happier, with less.
No matter what you earn, save, or inherit, what you wear and what you drive, the latest gadgets that you own, whether the artwork in your home is printed or original, there is no guarantee of happiness.
When discussing happiness, actor Jim Carrey said,
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer”
Money helps you to a certain level of security, but happiness is not an object that you can buy and possess. It is a passing state of emotion, and it happens for free either spontaneously or when you consciously know how to open yourself up to it.
3 Ways to Happiness:
1. I Encourage Positive relationships
As social beings, we need to share and be close and intimate in our relationships with other human beings. I am talking positive relationships, not one-sided, abusive or neglectful relationships. We all need the strength of good relationships where we can laugh, love, cry and support one another. All negative relationships need to be healed or left if they are beyond being improved.
Spend time with your loved ones, let them know what they mean to you, and listen to them. Know that your circumstances could change in the blink of an eye and you don’t want to live with the regret of not having expressed your true positive feelings for those for whom you care.
2. I Control My Attitudes and Thoughts
Being optimistic and knowing that you alone control your attitudes and self-esteem will help you realise that you are responsible for feeling positive in this moment, regardless of any past experiences or future fears. Feeling happy is your choice and comes from seeing the good and appreciating it. Even in the toughest of circumstances, we can take joy from some of the simplest pleasures in our lives. If you can’t do this yourself, then you are possibly too easily controlled by others and their opinions and not being responsible for your own feelings and opinions.
Get into the habit of reframing negative thoughts into positives. Practice enjoying simple pleasures that cost little or nothing, such as walking and enjoying the beauty of nature.
3. My Feelings Pass
Yes, we all have tasks to perform that aren’t entirely pleasurable, I get that. However, reframe this thinking. The pleasure comes from the reward of completing the task and then finding the time to enjoy the hobbies or relationships that you’re passionate about. Some tasks offer a reward of pleasure as you see your efforts fulfilled and others offer a relief of a negative feeling when they are finally resolved.
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