When Guilt Gets in the Way of Decluttering
Much of the guilt we feel about getting rid of things is the perception of their value. Often, we feel that the more we spend on something, the more value it has, and the more we must keep it and continue to value it. This can significantly impact the guilt you feel about spending, especially when you have accumulated many expensive things over the years and are no longer using them.
Investment in stuff does not equal value, often it indicates an error in our judgement.
‘Written Off’
When I was in my late teens, I saved and bought myself a nice little red Italian sports car, a Fiat 124 Spider. It was a beautiful little car and I spent more on it than I should for a young man. However, I was in love with the image of driving around on the weekends in the Australian sunshine with the wind in my hair and the impression it would make on others.
However, rather than enjoying my weekends driving in the sun, I spent most of these weekends lying in the heat of the sun in a pool of oil fixing the car. It had constant mechanical problems and a continual barrage of hidden rust that needed repair. Yet I was reluctant to get rid of it because of the time and effort I had put into it.
One day when I started the car, the twin carburettor backfired and the whole car went up in flames. Having spent so much money on the car, I could only afford third party insurance. This meant that I would only receive money for the damage I caused to another vehicle in an accident. My car was ‘written off’ by my insurance company and I received not a cent in return.
I wasted a lot of time and energy and money on that car, and it taught me a valuable lesson. Don’t hold on to things when they rob you of your time, effort and financial investment if they don’t live up to your dreams and fantasies. Instead ‘write them off’ as a lost cost.
We all make mistakes:
Everyone has bought something that they regret and feel guilty about having spent the time and money on. It is known as ‘buyer’s remorse.’
However, we all make mistakes on impulse. It is learning to recognise when you are being impulsive that makes the difference.
When you have your heart set on buying something, wait at least 3 days up to 30 days depending on its expense and see if you still must have it.
Realise that you think the item is going to solve a problem for you. Will it really? Or is it just the hype of the marketing behind it to get you to spend? Most problems come from inside of us and require a bit of reflection and personal work.
Think about how many hours you have to work to pay for that item. If you are paid $10 an hour and your item costs $1000, do you wish to work 100 extra hours to pay for it after having met all your other life expenses?
Don’t spend money you don’t have.
Have a Growth Mindset:
When we realise we have made a mistake, although we can’t change the past, we can let go of the guilt by ‘writing off’ the thing. We learn from our mistake and we take action to redeem ourselves. We return the item and get a refund, we sell the item on to someone who will find more value than us, or, if we really want to learn a lesson, we give it away and the pain of doing that may well make us think again in future. This is the way to reclaim your freedom from being tied emotionally to physical stuff and the guilt that often follows from ‘breaking up’ with the item.
By learning to live with less, you will have more time and more space in your life to live what is most memorable and important, experiences and human, not material, relationships.
Are you planning to build a pyramid and take all your stuff into the after-world like an Egyptian Pharaoh?
The thought that someone will have to dispose of my belongings when I finally depart this world would make me feel more guilty than reducing what I currently own, while I can.
Physical stuff wears out, breaks, goes out of fashion and takes time in its maintenance and care. Stuff is inanimate, while life is for living.
If you would like to learn more about living a life with less, consider reading my book, “Mindful Minimalism”