When Chaotic Thinking Spoils Your Life and What You Can Do About It
Often the overwhelm of too many tasks, too many areas of our lives that we must manage, and too many events from the outside world, leaves us in a state of chaos. We can’t seem to find a way out from the mess and the stress.
We question what we are doing, thinking, and how we got into this situation in the first place. We live from day to day, pay to pay, and things just don’t seem to get any clearer.
We all feel out of control at times, and we all crave getting our lives sorted and prioritised.
If you want to re-sort the chaotic elements of your life, here is a strategy that you can follow to get back a sense of control, meaning and bring back more happiness.
A Strategy to Manage Chaos
Try the following exercise and see how it impacts your day-to-day life.:
Write all your current and future responsibilities and tasks down as they come to mind. List everything, every single thing, on paper before your eyes. Let it happen without allowing your mind to interfere, don’t try to order things, let the chaos out.
Once you feel depleted of thoughts, begin to group your thoughts into specific areas in your life: work, personal, family, outside world, regrets, dreams, frustrations, disappointments, worries, and concerns.
Now split a sheet of paper into three columns. At the top of the first column, write “Under my direct control” and at the top of the second, “Within my influence” and at the top of the third “Definitely out of my control.”
Now write each item from your list under the appropriate column.
Next to each item, write what your end point is for each item in the “Under my direct control” column. Now, write what you hope to achieve in influencing a change in “Within my influence” column. For the “Definitely out of my control” you need to make only one decision: to let go of it, avoid it, and/or dismiss it from your thoughts. You cannot change what you cannot act upon, or influence.
Now make short action lists for each item. Prioritise your first column by listing what needs to be done first to make the largest positive impact on your life and choose the first three items. Commit to complete within an hour, day, a week, or a month. Then, move on to your next three.
Finally move to the “Within my influence” only when you have completed the items on your list “Under my direct control.”
If you find that you cannot get started, break each action into steps. Start from your desired outcome, and work backwards, listing each action until you reach the very first action you need to take. Once you have done so, set 5 minutes aside to focus purely on that action. That initial 5 minutes will likely become more as you are absorbed in the task.
Ask for help. If you’re struggling to make any headway, ask a friend or family member to help you get started, or at least talk it through. An organisation and prioritisation coach, such as I, can be very motivating and quickly move you into action.
If procrastination halts you in your tracks, you need to label these paralysing situations in a simple way, “It’s just a phone call.” “It’s just a couple of hours out of my day.” “It’s just a bit of writing which I can rework if I need to.” “It’s just a meeting that will end.”
Take time out if you need a breather and compose yourself. Some things can be emotional, but emotions are a sign that we are moving through something important that will strengthen and benefit us.
Accept what is out of your control
The only way to accept what is out of your control is to accept what is in your control: your attitude and power to act. If your life is a mess, I guarantee that you have taken on too many outside problems that are not truly yours and are likely in someone else’s control.
You must learn to accept that you cannot control what is outside of your own thinking; you can probably influence it, but you cannot change it, at least permanently.
Accept that there will always be chaos. Work with the aspects that you have control over. Everything outside of you will just bring pain, disappointment, and frustration.
Learn to relax and breathe deeply when you have been sucked into an outside agenda.
Detach from outside chaos and act on what is in your control.
When your thoughts run chaotically wild with past and future thoughts, bring yourself back into the present with a deep breath and an awareness of where you are right now. Look, really look at your surroundings in this present moment. This is centring yourself.
Learn to be non-judgemental about views you just cannot influence. Most people will never change the way that you want them to. They must change themselves.
Be grateful for what you have control over: your power to get back to your centre of control, and your objectivity about external dramas and events.
Simplifying your life is not as difficult as people make it out to be. If you take responsibility for your own attitudes and actions only, you are living a simplified life away from the chaos of external events and other’s agendas.
Be Strong, Be Confident, and Be yourself.
If you enjoyed reading this article, please check out my book, “How to be Happy more often”