The Art of Letting Go of Anything When You Just Feel Too Afraid
Being Stuck
How many times do you find yourself holding on to thoughts and possessions that just do nothing positive for your life except get in the way of your freedom?
In your self-talk, it often becomes a battle of good and bad, right or wrong, black and white, with no shades of grey. You say things such as:
That person isn’t living in the right way, bad things will happen if they continue like this.
No good will come of this.
That’s not good enough, it has to be…
This is how things should be…
The only right way to do this is to…
They’ve got it wrong. I’m right.
Their opinion is misguided.
This is the best item because…
It has to be like this…
It should, must, has to be…
Only if it is like this or happens like this is it right or the best way.
Nothing is permanent in our human experience.
Our opinions are simply preferences shaped from our judgements from past experiences or from those modelled to us by authorities and then readily adopted by us. When we judge others, it is typically because their opinions or lifestyles don’t fit the rules we have created around our own opinions and lifestyles. We have become rigid in our thinking and attached to what we want and what we don’t want.
When we have a “fixed mindset,” we close ourselves off to all the possibilities and wonder in the world. When we have a “growth mindset,” that is a mind that is open to learning, the world is an open place for new opportunities, experiences and learning.
This is the same with the possessions we own. Too much attachment and familiarity with what we own can tie us down to a life of comfort without risk.
What is wrong with being too comfortable?
It is within our human nature to problem-solve, to continue to explore and grow. When we get too comfortable, we position ourselves in a hibernation of our own creation. We become stagnant in our thoughts and actions. Our behaviours and feelings become limited in their range and then we do whatever we can to keep our lives this way, numbing ourselves to the small and large wonders of the world.
We become risk averse, afraid to take chances.
Freeing Ourselves
Just like stretching our bodies for flexibility by challenging our muscles, we need to continuously stretch our thinking and challenge our opinions and beliefs.
Know that when you were a child, you were much more open to the world and, as you have grown, you have become more fixed and immobile.
Be aware that as our minds become fixed, our bodies do too.
Ensure that you stretch your body by challenging it just beyond its current limits. Do the same with your mind by always looking for alternatives and opportunities.
1. In the moment, ask yourself:
“What could I do differently?”
“What opportunity is presenting itself here?”
2. Become aware of the world around you by letting go of your thoughts for a moment by bringing yourself into the present. This can be done through meditation or just by focusing on your senses:
What can I see around me now?
What can I hear?
What can I smell?
3. Appreciate something small that is in your presence right now. It may be the temperature, someone in your current company, what you are doing, how you are feeling, and so on.
4. Recognise that the world is in constant change, you are in constant change and that nothing is frozen in time.
Keep moving. Don’t get trapped by your own fixed thinking or the fixed thinking of others. You have the freedom of choice to change as you desire, but that choice begins in your own thinking.