How do I Stop Comparing Myself to Others? Put this Thief of Joy on Trial with these 10 Strategies
Many of us spend our days comparing ourselves to others which is exacerbated by social media and ideal, perfect snapshots of our friends and celebrities living it up. It can stir feelings of jealousy, depression, disappointment, and at its worst, anger, illogical revenge and even violence.
Positive comparison, when we learn how to match the learning and performance of role-models to improve ourselves, is of benefit. Negative comparison, when we take no action for improvement, is punishment for our self-esteem and self-worth.
You have one prime person to look after in your life and that is yourself. If you do not care for yourself first, you will not give your best care to your nearest and dearest, friends and associates.
Compare and despair? No! Compare with great care!
When you compare, you typically focus on the:
The strengths of another but the weaknesses of yourself, which is totally unfair.
You create some arbitrary and unrealistic measure. I can hardly compare my finances to an unrealistic model such as Elon Musk.
You look at the unique strengths of another when you should be focusing on your own unique strengths.
Know you are only in control of your personal thoughts and your emotional and physical reactions to outside events. You cannot control what is outside of your influence or inspiration. Even with influence, there are no guarantees you will get what you want.
Here are some further thoughts about comparison:
Comparison steals our time by occupying our thoughts in an unconstructive way.
You are your own person, with your own strengths. The positive approach to life is to follow your strengths. This is what ‘successful’ people do, despite their weaknesses.
Pride comes before a fall. Don’t let your ego react to the events life brings.
React with what you can control, your positive feelings and beliefs.
Comparisons are infinite, so opt out or get pulled down the rabbit hole.
Comparisons are external and your life is mostly internal.
Comparisons are self-punishment and self-sabotage.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt
10 Strategies to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:
Know comparison for what it is and label it when you experience it.
Focus on your small successes and celebrate them.
We all have setbacks, but we also know the old saying that sometimes we take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Know that at other times we will take 1 or more steps forward.
Think bigger. The Universe is a very large place in which we exist. Who we compare ourselves are as small as we are within its vastness.
Appreciate your strengths and focus upon them. Everyone has flaws and those who do well focus only on what they can do well.
Be grateful for what you have in life, no matter how small.
Perfection is never as effective as doing your best with what you have in the moment.
Look to nature to put your life in perspective. Take a walk and observe the awe of our natural and real world. Often, when we are surrounded by artificial human construction, we need grounding.
Perform tasks where you need full focus in the moment, such as exercise, sport, a hobby, puzzles, meditation, yoga etc. When you are fully in the moment, you are less troubled by thoughts that are out of your control, particularly those from the past or about the future.
Compare yourself to yourself in a positive and constructive way. We all have room for improvement. Be gentle and encouraging with your very best friend… yourself.
If you would like to take further control of your life, consider reading my book, “Be Happy more often”