From Dreams to Reality: Letting go of your Fantasy Self to Find Your Truth
The Fantasy
We all have fantasies about how our lives could be improved by creating our dream job and circumstances. Yes, it is important to dare to dream, but often our dreams don’t match our true nature and inner passions. We fantasise about the shallow image of what our success might look like, rather than acknowledging the true substance behind it.
Maybe you fantasise about becoming a popular social media influencer through podcasts, YouTube and Instagram or a famous figure in your industry or a leader in business?
We get all motivated by these dreams and they consume our thinking for hours and days in an exciting way… at first.
Soon our excitement begins to wane. We start to notice the competition around us, and the amount of effort, knowledge, talent and time involved. We become conscious that maybe we’re not good enough, don’t have the finances or the knowhow, or perhaps that maybe we are just not into it after all. We then move on to our next dream.
The thing about fantasies, is we only see the good bits. It’s like watching a film where the day-to-day mundanity is edited out so that only the highlights remain. We certainly don’t see the thousands of hours behind the scenes to create that 2-hour footage.
The Reality
If we are to pursue a dream, we need to know the effort put in to achieve these highlights. As the old saying goes, most creations take 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. If you are serious about this dream and it requires going up against your current competition, can you consistently make more of an effort than your competitors?
Here are some questions you can ask every time a fantasy entices you into pursuing a new idea:
Am I seeing only the rewards and not the hard work behind this fantasy?
Am I considering the tough times that may come to achieve this fantasy?
Will following and achieving this fantasy truly improve my situation?
Will I feel any better by pursuing this?
Am I doing this just to improve my image?
Am I dreaming of this for the success alone?
Are successful people in this fantasy of mine really happy?
The truth of what you must pursue
If you are pursuing this fantasy to change how you are currently feeling, know that you can change how you are feeling now. Your feelings come from your positive thoughts about yourself and your positive reactions to events. It is better to develop a positive internal attitude than to chase external results that are outside of your control to experience desired feelings.
Learn to let go of your fantasy self and pursue your personal truth. Know what is truly inspirational to you personally.
To explore what you might be passionate about, ask yourself questions along the following line:
What do I gravitate towards in my free time?
What pursuit have I enjoyed talking about most when with close friends?
What do I find myself wanting to learn more about?
Who do I look up to and what is it about them that gains my admiration?
What one thing would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
What would I pursue if all my needs were satisfied, and I found myself bored?
Once you have identified one or more ideas, follow up by asking:
Is this a true passion or mission that I will pursue despite the many likely hardships?
When you follow a true passion, you will be more motivated to act and chase its fulfilment in the face of even the most difficult challenges. You will have days when you find things tough, but you will not give up.
If you act from what is in your control, and share your positive feelings with others, you will achieve more than even the most ‘successful’ person whose focus may simply be on their own glory – the shallow perspective of image over substance.
If you enjoyed this blog post, please consider reading my book, “Be Happy more often”