Even Better than Goal Setting! The Discipline of Commands to Change your Habits
Unfortunately, we are all familiar with getting excited about our new goals and resolutions only to lose enthusiasm and give them up. Some of us respond well to the pressure of commands for some of our habitual practices.
What if you were to change your goals to daily commands that you had to stick to?
When we change our goals from ‘coulds,’ ‘woulds,’ and ‘shoulds’ to ‘Musts’ we are more likely to discipline ourselves to take the action and achieve their end. When I say ‘discipline,’ I mean exactly that! There are tasks in particular that I must impose deadlines on, or I will simply get distracted and before I know it, I have paid for my procrastination,
Write down your command with a starting time, an effort time and what must be done in preparation to begin.
For example:
• Yoga Command: At 6 a.m. I must practice 20 minutes of yoga. This means that I must be on that mat exactly on time. This means I have to get up earlier to go to the toilet, have a drink, and change, that is what I must do.
• Breakfast Command: Every morning I must start my day with a healthy breakfast of a bowl of oats served with oat milk and a piece of fruit. This means I must make sure that I have these foods in my house and if I run out, I must go to the shop before having my breakfast.
• Study Command: At 9 p.m. after I have eaten and the children are in bed, I must study my course at my desk until 9.20 p.m. before I relax for the evening. This means I must have my work ready to open and concentrate on for an exact 9 p.m. start.
• Jogging Command: After work, when I arrive home at 6 p.m. before I make dinner, I must put on my running shoes and clothes and jog for 30 minutes (or 5km’s) from Monday to Friday. This means my running shoes need to be by the door and I step out exactly at 6 p.m.
• Finances Command: On Sundays at exactly 10 a.m. I must sit down and look through my finances until 10.30 a.m. This means I must have my laptop open and on just before 10.
• Decluttering command: Every Saturday at 11 a.m. until 11.30 a.m. I will look for 3 items to be donated, recycled or sold. This means I must place them in the donation box, recycling bin or photograph them for sale by 11.30 a.m.
Sticking to your Commands
So, how do you convince yourself to carry out your commands when you feel so undisciplined?
You learn not to think about it but instead be obliged to do it. You stand up from whatever position you are in and take the first step.
You begin with one command only and then when you feel you have got the habit, you introduce your next command.
You keep your time frames short. My examples are around 20 to 30 minutes, this mirrors an adult’s (and child’s) average concentration span. If the timeframe is still too long, start with 5 to 10 minutes and build it as your stamina grows.
If you do miss a day, apply the command, “I never miss a practice for more than two days in a row!”
If you continue to miss your practice ask, “Do I really want this practice?” Consider changing the command for a better time, a shorter period or bringing in an accountability partner. An accountability partner can do it with you or be there to hold you to account. They can be someone close or someone you know online who also needs help with accountability. There are plenty of habit developing forums on the internet where you can meet like-minded people.
Practice realistic habit commands for which there is no chemical, emotional and neurological addiction. Addictions to food, nicotine, sex and love, alcohol and drugs typically require professional support, so are more difficult to create commands for. Seek professional advice and accountability.
Create reminder on your mobile phone with enough time in advance to be ready. You can also have an environmental trigger, such as your yoga mat laid out in preparation the night before or your running shoes by the door.
Each successful step you make strengthens your resilience and develops your ability to be more disciplined in other aspects of your life.
Now I command you to go forth and choose one change to start making today!
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You can find more ways to positively change your life by reading my book, “Be Happy more often”