17 of the Best Confidence Tips and Tricks to Overcome Self-Doubt
Being a naturally shy person, over the years I have learned to display confidence in almost any situation including before large audiences. Shy and introverted does not always mean under-confident, nor does being extraverted mean you are necessarily confident. Under-confidence comes from self-doubt, and most of us experience a sense of self-doubt in the many unfamiliar situations some of us face almost every day.
The feeling of discomfort and the fear of awkwardness, embarrassment or possible hostility, drives our avoidance of certain social situations. We know how important relationships are as a part of our social lives, yet we may find any excuse to avoid them.
Being part of a group brings out feelings of care, contentment, happiness, acceptance and belonging. We all want to belong and have friendships we value and find meaning in, where we can listen to others and be listened to. Know that we all experience self-doubt and rise up to doing your best in your next social interaction.
The following confidence tips and tricks take some practice but will certainly build your comfort in almost any social situation.
17 of the Best Confidence Tips and Tricks
Be curious and interested in what you hear. Respond with, “That’s really interesting…” or “Tell me more about…”
Be yourself. You don’t need to stretch the truth to impress others.
Consciously relax your posture and move into a conversation circle. Smile and nod as you enter a group in conversation and if no one is currently speaking say ‘Hi, I’m (your name), nice to meet you.’ If a conversation is in full flow bring a slight smile to your closed lips and move it into your eyes and just listen.
Establish trust by not prying too much into other’s business and by answering questions honestly with a measure of restraint.
Expect that you won’t click with everyone. The worst that can happen is that someone will disengage with the conversation and move on. People continually move about in social situations anyway. Social situations are not deep and intimate relationships. Don’t make the mistake of coming across too strong. Keep your view of them light and keep your conversation and behaviour light as well. You can be part of a group without even conversing. Just stay close, listen and keep positive.
Follow what they are saying. Don’t change the subject and make it all about you.
Go into a conversation without judgement of the other person. As it’s said, “Never judge a book by its cover.” We are often pleasantly surprised by other’s personalities not matching their outward appearance.
Have a prop in your hands. Drink and food are perfect for this. You don’t even need to eat or drink anything. If you are stuck without a prop, occasionally reach and scratch a shoulder, your face, your hair or change position. Keep your body-language open, no crossed arms or legs.
If you are in an awkward situation and are struggling to converse, yet feel you can trust the person, you will come across as more authentic if you admit your difficulties. Nothing too revealing though, just let them know that you can be a little shy and not know what to say at times.
If you feel uncomfortable and another person notices your discomfort, admit it and laugh about it. Let them know that you find social situations a little awkward but try and keep it light.
If you freeze in conversation, listen and nod and keep your answers short until you regain composure. I have held almost entire conversations by just using body language alone, such as smiles and head nods with very few words spoken, if that makes sense. It’s so much easier when you let others do all the talking.
Make small talk to start. Positive things about your surroundings, such as “It’s lively in here” or “What a great crowd.” Try to then get some depth in the conversation by observing what they say and asking to hear more.
Smile, and look the person you are conversing with in the eye from time to time. You don’t need to stare them out.
Take the initiative and Introduce yourself to one new person.
Talk to one person only to start and don’t worry if you are liked or not. Maybe the other person is out of sorts at the moment or has something else on their mind or is just as shy and nervous as you. Most people will respond with politeness you have just come across the odd one out.
We are all made up of many different aspects. Draw upon an aspect of yourself you feel sits with the crowd, e.g., friendly, humorous, and positive. Before entering the situation, recall a time when a social situation went well. What part of you did you behave from? Your fun side? Caring side?
When you get into a conversation, listen more than speak. Do not dominate the conversation but do respond positively with your answers to their questions.
If you would like to learn more about a positive life, consider reading my book, “Be Happy more often”