10 Reasons Why You Give Up, and 10 Better Ways to Get on and Achieve Success
What are the reasons for you giving up on things and not seeing them through?
The pain and frustration of giving up can bring feelings that you are undisciplined and just can’t stick with anything. You feel guilt, remorse and shame when you can’t seem to see something through.
Maybe you have had one of the following experiences:
You began to organise all the elements of your life, prioritised them, decluttered the physical and mental tasks, but your good organisation habits lapsed, you ended back in a chaotic mess.
You gave up on an old habit and began a new one, relapsed a couple of times and then completely returned to your old way of doing things.
You promised yourself you would exercise regularly, spend more time with your family or friends or made other New Year Resolutions that have faded rapidly in their practice.
You started a certain diet, slipped for a day or two and then gave up on it completely.
You started a new exciting project, but as you progressed, your interest waned until it just sat in the corner or at the back of your mind.
Think of yourself as brave for having a go in the first place. There is no reason you cannot start again. Habits are never easy to maintain or sustain and there is no reason to berate yourself for not sticking them out. Would you be horrible to a child for not being perfect? Hopefully not! So, don’t be so harsh on that child inside yourself for not living up to your perfect standards and expectations, life is too short for self-punishment.
10 Reasons Why You Give Up
We often have many reasons for giving up, rather than just one.
See which of these resonate with you the strongest:
Changes are uncomfortable when you begin them; there is more to learn, and you have to consciously concentrate. It is much more comfortable not making the effort to do something new and just stick with your old habits.
Short-term pleasures and temptations win your attention. Why are all the good things so bad? The sugary cakes and treats, the passive television and social media. So comforting compared to the new habit you are trying to start.
You are just not interested in it enough to take it seriously. You seem to brush your teeth each morning and night knowing the consequences for not brushing them, but you just can’t motivate yourself to exercise enough which has its consequences. If we think things are going to be easy, with little effort, we are not taking them seriously enough. Things take time, persistence, and a measure of discipline and effort. If you are just in love with the fantasy, ideal or appearance of something, your commitment to it will at least be halved.
You get busy, distracted and forget. You set up a specific time to do something and then it just slips your mind as you get caught up with something else.
You can’t attach enough importance to the new practice and strong enough reasons as to why you should do it. There’s no pressure.
You just don’t like this new habit and it’s all too much effort.
You overthink. You are constantly comparing things to see which is best and ost effective. You logically have to cycle through all the pros and cons and the “What if…?” scenarios. You get “analysis paralysis” and then you change to some new approach and do the same thing.
You punish yourself for not following the new behaviour or project and spiral down in your negative emotions.
You start to make excuses and do deals with yourself. “OK. I’m just going to miss it today and do it twice tomorrow!” “I’m not prepared properly today.” “I feel too tired.” “I don’t think I’m well enough.” There will likely be another excuse tomorrow.
Your expectations are just too high and unrealistic. Every step is too difficult which sees you giving up as you fail at each hurdle.
10 Better Ways to Get on and Achieve Success
Be positive with yourself. If you slip in your practice for one day, encourage yourself to have a go tomorrow. Stick to a rule that you will never go more than 2 days without doing what you intend to do. This small amount of grace can be your only compromise.
Commit and set up your environment for commitment. Have everything it’s place to support your change before you intend to do it. Have your running shoes by the door ready to go running, have your laptop set up with the programmes you need for your writing, organise your kitchen utensils and ingredients ready for your new cooking regime, only have the right healthy food in your cupboard for your new healthy eating plan.
Get yourself into the habit of a “growth mindset” rather than a “fixed mindset.” This means an acceptance that in order to grow and develop in a positive way, there will be an element of discomfort and small risks to take in order to achieve your desires. Change your viewpoint to the knowledge that a little discomfort leads to more positive experiences, whereas too much comfort leads to stagnation and rot.
Know that you are not open to negotiation in the form of excuses. This is another form of self-sabotage and you just need to at least start your practice for 5 minutes before giving up on it. 5 minutes may well become many more.
Remind yourself why this practice is so important in the long-run and the consequence for not doing it.
Remind yourself with an alarm, a calendar, a diary or post-it notes placed where you can see them.
Learn to tackle what you dislike first thing and get it over with. Know that you are building your resilience and be proud of your inner strength and discipline. Choose those vegetables over that dessert, knowing how good they are for you.
Turn short-term pleasures and temptations into practices that you will overcome to reach your long-term goals. See the temptations as a little devil on your shoulder not wanting you to improve. Imagine a little angel on your other shoulder telling you all the reasons to not give in and to stick to the big rewards of your long-term goals.
When you begin to overthink, say “Stop!” Your logic seems very convincing and rational but realise you are just procrastinating. Your logic is actually sabotaging you from taking action. Remember that good actions speak louder than any logical words.
Make sure you have broken down your goals into SMART targets. Make each goal:
Specific: One thing you wish to achieve
Measurable: You know if you are improving
Achievable: It is possible to complete it with a little stretch
Realistic: It is not a fantasy goal
Time-bound: You have a timeframe to get it completed
If you would like to experience more happiness and positivity in your life, read more about my latest book, “Be Happy more often” by clicking here.